Exposing Shame
Posted By Miss Jocelyn Tzahala on June 7, 2010 | Category: I Follow Yeshua HaMashyiach, The Scriptures, The Voice Of Un-Experienced, These Last Days
Noach, a farmer, was the first to plant a vineyard.
He drank so much of the wine that he got drunk and lay uncovered in his tent.
Ham, the father of Kena’an, saw his father shamefully exposed, went out and told his two brothers.
Shem and Yefet took a cloak, put it over both their shoulders, and, walking backward, went in and covered their naked father. Their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father lying there shamefully exposed.
When Noach awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him.
- Genesis 9:20-24
This situation between Noach and his sons came to my mind a few weeks ago as I watched a daughter reveal the shame of her mother in a evil and twisted way to many, both on and offline. I was utterly dumbfounded by the lack of love and self-control and selflessness. I don’t remember what part of the situation brought the story of Noach and Ham to my mind, but I found myself pondering what happen to Ham after he shamed his father.
The Scriptures tell us that Noach was a righteous man in the eyes of God, and as such God spared him from the utter destruction the flood would cause. However, all men have fallen short of the esteem of the Father (Romans 3:23), and all make mistakes. Noach was no exception. It is not uncommon, especially today, for children to think their parents are wrong and to find fault with them. Even parents who do their best in living a set-apart life have weaknesses of the flesh that they battle with and sometimes lose. For some sons and daughters it is hard to respect their parents in the appropriate manner because their parents don’t always walk the talk. I will admit at times it is hard to hold my tongue and be respectful in my own family. Stepping back and looking at the bigger picture here we can see in the Scriptures what kind of person doesn’t hold their tongue and lack good sense (ie: is a fool).
He who belittles another lacks good sense, whereas a person of discernment stays silent. A gossip goes around revealing secrets, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.
- Proverbs 11: 12-13
When we see our parents make these mistakes or behave badly, how are we as their children to respond? The Father commands us as children to simply honor our father and mother. That is all. We don’t get to respect them based on their behavour. We don’t get to obey them based on if we agree with them {see the Honour Dynamics}. All the Scriptures tell a child to do is honour, and most of the time this can be accomplished by simply keeping your opinions and thoughts to yourself and doing what your parents ask of you without showing contempt for them or their decisions.
How can we honor our parents when they behave dishonorably?
In the Torah, we find two ways to handle a situation with Noach and Ham. We have option number one with Ham leaving his father’s shame exposed and then going to tell the world (literally at this point), and then we have option number two with Shem and Yefet overlooking and covering their father’s shame. There are consequences for ignoring the commands to honour your parents, which we know is the opposite of the blessing which is that you will have a long life on the earth.
Ham’s decision to expose his father’s shame brought shame upon his own house in the lowest form: becoming a slave to others. Had he known was what to happened, would he have acted in the same manner? Does it matter? No. There are all kinds of repercussions to exposing the shame of your parents to others, even in the forms of prayer requests (the best way to deceive yourself) and for getting sympathy in a world of those who hardheartedly disagree with a Scriptural-worldview.
People do and say foolish things all the time, and as children we see firsthand just how sinful our parents can be. The natural human inclination is to expose their folly by pointing it out to others, but as we know that is not the Scriptural thing to do. The greatest we can do for anyone, especially our family, is to take their place, to cover their sins, to love them more than we love ourselves…. remember even our righteousness to the Father is like filthy rags and the Messiah covered our sins, so much dirtier!
Because I’ve chosen not to expose my family’s problems online, in public or private places, many have the assumption that we have no problems at all. Is this deceitful? I have not chosen to conceal the fact that we have problems, just the all the details that like to tickle peoples ears because that, as a daughter and a believer, is what I am called do to. Love covers a multitude of sins and as we follow in the example of the Messiah I hope as sons and daughters we can continue to extend this the most to the people who love and care for us the most.
More than anything, keep loving each other actively; because love covers many sins.
-1 Peter 4:8
It is important for the unity of the family to not encourage children to rebel against their parents. There is absolutely no Scripture to back up such actions. YHVH has created that unit and it is for no man (or woman) to separate, and when you do so you are working against the Father and his plan for their lives. Encourage daughters and sons in the Scriptures. Encourage them to go their parents in a humble and honouring manner. Do not tear down the Father’s purpose for them with divisive words, but build up that family unit with words that are in agreement with the Father’s plan for family, no matter personal opinions of the situation.
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14 Responses to “Exposing Shame”
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Thank you for visiting my site! I hope that it has encouraged and challenged you in someway. Please be aware that my blog is not intended for any debatable purposes (honestly!!), though that's not to say admonishment (via the Scriptures in context) is not welcome. This is simply just a place for me to share what YHVH-God is convicting me of and showing me in my walk with Him. Please read "You're Judgmental" before commenting if the thought strikes you.
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Shalom, welcome to A Pondering Heart. I hope you will be challenged by what you read here and it will cause you to search deeper and deeper into the Word of YAH. My name is Jocelyn Tzahala. I'm 19, Woman, Believer. I'm passionate and straight forward... take that into consideration. I am a young woman, living in Latin America, seeking to be 'set apart as YHVH is set-apart". I want my faith to resemble that Avraham because in him YHVH found a man who would trust in him with everything and act upon his Word. My hope is that my life may be a sweet fragrance unto YHVH the MOST HIGH! HalleluYAH! Read more
I LOVE THIS POST!!! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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girl, you are wise beyond your years
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Thank you for this post, Jocelyn. I can appreciate it coming from a daughter’s perspective. Because my husband and I are not united on our views regarding Sabbath keeping and other laws in Scripture, and because others outside of our home have called me deceived, stubborn, selfish and bitter (in front of my children) for walking in Torah, it is easy for my children to look down on me. I know my children see my impatience and my inconsistency, and they don’t even know the half of it. =) But I hope that they can also see that my deepest desire is to be an obedient follower of my Messiah. I need to constantly humble myself and apologize to my children for the selfishness and sin they see in my life.
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Yet again, even at my age, you have taught me something new. Praise Yah!
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Powerful post. It made me think also of James comparing the tongue to a ship’s rudder, fire etc. Once those words of disrespect are released, they can become much larger than we can control. The consequences can be devastating.
On another note, when I was a teenager and a Believer, my Mom wasn’t walking with God. She made a lot of choices in life that I could not respect. Sometimes I was disrespectful to her in our private conversations and my tone of voice (though not publicly). Still I realize that it was sinful on my part because the command isn’t to respect them only if they deserve it! I am going to share this post with my Mom and tell her I am sorry. Thankfully today, she walks with God and we have a relationship where we can encourage each other.
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Yet again you took the high road, the road of following Hashem and His commandments rather than the ways of the natural man and human inclination, and I am glad to call you friend. You taught this mother and grandmother something valuable today.
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“many have the assumption that we have no problems at all. Is this deceitful?”
I know many Christians who would say yes. I try not to talk about my parents’/anyone’s folly, because that used to be called gossip and is at best very rude and disrespectful and at worst entirely damaging to a relationship. Unless someone asks, I don’t make a habit of saying what I’m struggling with sin-wise, either. But it seems like everyone else says you have to be “real” with them.
I don’t know. A part of me says, “But how can so many Christians be wrong?”
Then I looked at Torah and the fact that the same number of Christians (if not more) make a huge distinction between the Jew and the Christian. Hmm… Coinkadink? I’ve been warned that those laws are obsolete and I’d be joining a cult or becoming legalistic or being an “arrogant Pharisee” if I follow Torah. And I think, “It’d be a cult if I follow what’s in the Old Testament? And I know this isn’t for salvation, so I’m not being legalistic and saying salvation by works is how it is! Didn’t Paul say, ‘What shall we say then? Is the law sin? YHVH forbid!’ So the law shouldn’t be a cult!”
Ugh. I’m all confuzzled. Since I know people twist scripture to go with their own beliefs, I wonder if that’s what I’m doing with this whole deal.
I wish I wasn’t doing this all by myself. Oh, wait. *glances up at ceiling* I’m not. :)
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Miss Jocelyn Tzahala's Reply:
June 8th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
By definition, anyone who is of a certain religion is in a cult. That is a fact. Any ‘christian’ who calls you a cultist is a cultist themselves.
Anyone who follows the Constitution, buckles their seatbelt, doesn’t drink and drive, doesn’t go into wal-mart without a shirt and shoes, etc is a legalist… they follow the law. They are law-abiding citizens in their land. Apply this logic to Torah. Those who don’t follow it, just as in the US, are law-breakers.
It would be ridiculous to think that if the Constitution was being twisted as the Torah was when Messiah came that someone showed up fixed everything and then abolished the Constitution…. um??? No. They would restore the Constitution just as the Messiah restored the Torah to the people so they could once again be law-abiding children of Yis’ra’el.
Yes, people will twist Scripture.. until YESHUA shows up and enforces Torah during his 1,000 YEAR reign on this EARTH.
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Kare's Reply:
June 9th, 2010 at 12:49 am
Jen, I can soo relate to this! in 2001 I first became convicted to live this way, but the man who taught our fellowship taught against the law and I took his word for it without being a Berean. So, I am so sorry to say that for the next 9 years I did not follow those convictions and in fact, put them out of my mind.
Then in January 2010 YHVH again began to bring these things to my attention, only this time I DID study Scripture for myself.
I mentioned in my above post that I was called deceived… I was invited to someone’s home to listen to a CD about what the early church fathers believed regarding Sabbath keeping (which only told part of the story). After listening to it, the other 4 adults told me (as kindly as they could) that I was deceived and stubborn, etc. My children were sitting right there. So after joyfully walking in Torah for 3 months, my joy was replaced with doubt and hurt. I had to go home and study to see if they were right. Were they right? Was I deceived?
It took me 5 solid weeks of studying Scripture and church history to come to the point where I finally feel I am not deceived, but it has left me feeling very “rung out”.
And, like you, I am basically alone in this. Only my two daughters are walking with me. We do not have a likeminded place to fellowship, so I seek my fellowship from kindred souls online…
Regarding the confusion… I don’t want to write a book here, but I would love to connect with you and discuss this… Jocelyn, if it’s ok, you can give my email: kare@athomewithkare.com
Anyway, my point was that I know how you feel. =) Hugs from a sister who can relate!
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Jocelyn Tzahala, what an altogether lovely attitude. How dear you are, deserving of praise. Praise Yah for His sustaining grace that gives us help to make wise choices.
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Jocelyn, you said it so well– I have been thinking of a way to verbalize it. Thank you!
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You made a good point! It is hard not to ‘tell’ when family members get it wrong, especially when they ‘tell’ on you. But in most cases keeping quiet causes the least grief to everyone involved. Not only that, but your parents and siblings will thank you later for not being a tattletale.
However, I used to think that my family was THE most dysfunctional Believing family around… until I started seeing glimpses of anger and bitterness in other families. Sometimes kids let it slip that “Mommy was mad this morning,”, and on one occasion I actually witnessed our pastor blow up at his kids. Part of me agrees with you and thinks we should cover our parents’ sin, but another part of me remembers the pain and confusion I felt when I thought I was the only one. I cannot tell you how relieved I was when a friend admitted that his parent was “not the best example of a Believer.”
In a strange way these slip-ups of others make me feel better about my own family. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but it gives me strength to forgive.
Sorry if all that is a little confusing- my entire experience on this issue has been rather confusing. But thanks for the insight!
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Thanks for sharing this passage about Noach and his three sons. I love the way Yah taught it to you and the way you share it with your readers. Noach’s failure became a test to his three sons . Ham showed rebellion to authority (as the father is Yah’s instituted authority as the head of the family) in that Ham not only failed to cover his father (authority figure) ,but he reviled him as well by his words to his brothers. This rebellion was not found in the other two brothers as they backed up so as not to see (rebellion loves to see a defect in authority so as to throw off all restraint.) their father in this state. Japheth and Shem were blessed, even the Messiah came from Shem. You too, Miss Jocelyn Tzahala, have this same spirit of obedience and are blessed. To YHWH be the glory!
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Thank you for this post. Opened my eyes a bit wider.
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