A Gentle Word
Posted By Miss Jocelyn Tzahala on January 15, 2009 | Category: I Follow Yeshua HaMashyiach, The Scriptures
Do you ever find yourself speaking harshly and upsetting someone when you could avoided it with a gentle word? I know I have many times, and it is something I am working on and shall be, probably, forever. Sometimes it is so hard to just bite the tongue, swallow pride, and speak a gentle word rather a harsh one, no matter how much it may be deserved.
Gentleness is something everyone could work on. Many times when I answer with a harsh word I only make things worse, and I end up feeling like quite the meanie. Knowing I could have been, not only an example, but one less thing someone had to deal with emotionally makes me feel just awful.
The Bible mentions having gentleness several times, and of course, we know it’s one of the Fruit of the Spirit. All the Fruit of the Spirit are very important, and gentleness is just as important has loving someone or having patience. Actually I think it’s a combination of the two. The Bible speaks that gentleness is one of the keys to living peaceably with all men.
2 Timothy 2:24-25
“And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves;“
When someone does something wrong or wrongs you, remember the Bible says not to strive, but to be gentle, to be apt to teach, to be patient, and in meekness instruct. Don’t starting yelling at someone, especially a younger child when they’ve done something wrong. Instead of fighting, have a gentle word to offer. I know it will do you a world of good, and that child will see your example and think of you has a loving, gentle person of whom won’t scorn them when they’ve done something wrong. I know that most of the bad attitudes in my house are ones that have been passed down. I know I’m guilty of contributing to several of the Littles’ harshness.
Proverbs 15:1 says that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.“
Don’t stir up anger in someone. Offer a soft or gentle word and turn away their wrath. I made a door-hanger with the verse in Proverbs to help me
remember to offer a gentle word, and you’re welcome to make one too. You can follow the instructions here: Blessed Girlhood
Shalom,
Related Articles:
Gentleness in your Home
The Lost Art of Gentleness
Cloak and Dagger: Gentle As A Dove
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35 Responses to “A Gentle Word”
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Thank you for visiting my site! I hope that it has encouraged and challenged you in someway. Please be aware that my blog is not intended for any debatable purposes (honestly!!), though that's not to say admonishment (via the Scriptures in context) is not welcome. This is simply just a place for me to share what YHVH-God is convicting me of and showing me in my walk with Him. Please read "You're Judgmental" before commenting if the thought strikes you.
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Shalom, welcome to A Pondering Heart. I hope you will be challenged by what you read here and it will cause you to search deeper and deeper into the Word of YAH. My name is Jocelyn Tzahala - I am a 19yo young woman, living in Latin America, seeking to be 'set apart as YHVH is set-apart". I want my faith to resemble that Avraham because in him YHVH found a man who would trust in him with everything and act upon his Word. My hope is that my life may be a sweet fragrance unto YHVH the MOST HIGH! HalleluYAH!
So true! Awesome post Jocelyn :)
Samanthas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
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I ah-dore this post, controlling what I say is a difficult ordeal for me. In fact, at times I feel my tongue has power over me! But nope, God is more powerful than all. I know if I pray to Him for help, I can successfully speak gentle words and break a 20 year habit of speaking harshly (a defense mechanism for me). Thank you for taking the time to share this post, I thoroughly enjoyed it!!
Marthas last blog post..Thank You MJ!
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That’s so true! Thanks for reminding us! A soft answer is definitely a quality of Christ that we should strive for. It’s so easy to get frustrated with parents or siblings and speak unkindly. Let us keep striving to conquer our flesh!
~Nastya
NASTYAs last blog post..BERRY LIMEADE LEGWARMERS GIVEAWAY
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WONDERFUL post, Jocelyn dear!! I’m planning on making one of those door hangers!! ^_^
Love,
Toria
Miss Torias last blog post..It’s a beautiful day/Oh I can dance, I can sing….
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I too, struggle with biting my tongue and being gentle when I’m angry at someone. It can be so hard not to lash out, but God calls Christians to be gentle. He calls women, in particular, to have a “quiet and gentle spirit.” I pray that God helps both of us (and anyone else struggling with this) to find gentle words even in an angry brain.
AWorkiInProgresss last blog post..Angry
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Bein patient and gentle is something I struggle with too. It’s so easy to speak and then think, instead of vice-versa. Thanks for this reminder! <3
Hugs,
~Grace
GraceElizabeths last blog post..Something New
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I find myself doing this sometimes, Jocelyn. I’ll be cooking or doing something on the computer or steam-cleaning the carpets, or whatever, and then one of my kids will start whining, the other will start pulling on me, then one will go in the kitchen and empty the utensil drawer all over the floor, while the other starts scratching me, etc…. And before I know it, I snap.
And I can just see the confusion on their little faces. Of course, they don’t really know they’ve even done anything wrong. And so, they start to cry because they can tell that I’m angry.
And sometimes it’s easy to think that you can just get away with it because, hey, nobody saw you snap and they’re only kids. But I think that’s what makes it even more important. Because God saw you snap. And because He entrusted those little ones to you so that you could demonstrate godly behavior in all situations.
So, that’s something I’m working on, too. And like you said, probably will be forever. ;)
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great post.
Lauren Anns last blog post..thoughts
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Wonderful post Jocelyn. I know I do struggle with speaking softly and gently to my little ones & sometimes I do yell. It’s something I am working on everyday. The law of kindness should be on our tongues!
Charlenes last blog post..The Attack on Parental Rights (UNCRC)
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This is wonderful Jocelyn, and so needed. I hate opening my mouth when I should keep it closed, and then feeling bad… :( It is a part of our human nature, but a part that God can re-create if we let him.
Thank you for sharing, and thank you for the links to the other articles about the same types of issues.
Love you!
Mom
Mother Dears last blog post..Encouragement at the UWE and Carnival Links
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Great post, Miss Jocelyn! Indeed, death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Tammys last blog post..This happens at every church…
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Great post! Thank you for the reminder. :-)
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That’s a good reminder! And thanks for always keeping us on our toes, dear!
As always,
Love and hugs,
Ellie
Miss Ellies last blog post..Happy Birthday Jessica!
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You are so right. So many times I want to avoid it but not always I can. I must be more careful.
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Wonderful reminder, dear! :)
Miss Annabees last blog post..Sledding comes but once a year. . .
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I just love your honesty, and the more you share about your self the more I realize you and I have some similarities. Those of us who tend to be a little on the blunt side are often occused of being mean, when all we were doing is trying to help. I often remember the old song from Mary Poppins about how a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, and then there is the saying that you catch more flies with honey than vinigar.
I have noticed that when I simply reply yes sir or smile when I don’t feel like it when conversing with my husband things go smoothly. My husband is a hard worker and deals with the public all day and is usualy a tad cranky when he comes home, and if I rise to the occasion, well the fight is on. However when I just sweeten my replies, things settle down quickly after his arrival. I have had several friends and family members ask why I allow my husband to talk to me the way he does from time to time, and I just smile and say it is just not worth the effort on my part to tear things down, I do not feel better afterwards, in fact I feel worse after it is all said and done. I have also noticed that my younger two children respond to each other they way my husband and I used to respond to each other, they are a boy and a girl…. I have trained them to give as good as they get, and it never ends.
I also try to remember that a soft reply turns away anger, but there are days that I do rise to the occasion. So I strive to get my chores done by the time my husband gets home, and I strive to keep our rooom clutter free so he can come home and relax for a few minutes before changing gears and joining us. I have to remember that it is an ugy world out there and he is smack dab in the middle of it all day long.
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Those are such powerful words and I think so many people dont relize that words we say could change someones life, good or bad. A few weeks ago when our family was doing Bible study together we came across a verse that really made me think about that words that I say: Matthew 5:21-22
“You have heard that our ancestors were told, You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment. But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.”
I never really thought about our words being “murder”, but they really can be if we dont watch what we say, like I said before they can change people’s life’s! What do you think about that scripture and its contexts to the words we speak?
Blessings,
Naomi
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I like the door hanger idea! Currently though, I have quite a few of my siblings creative door hangers on mine :) This post reminded me of something I read from Mr. and Mrs. Duggar’s book, “20 and Counting.” Mrs. Duggar said that, when ever she would feel like speaking impatiently or angrily, she would lower her voice and keep lowering it, she said sometimes she lowered it to even a wisper. I found it such excellent advice. By the way, I recommend the Duggar’s book very much! There you can read the exact words!
Kalanis last blog post..Surprise Blogoversery!
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Unfortunately, when we communicate on line we have to be xtra careful, as people can’t always see the tone of which we are writing. We can more often be misconstrued then, as they cannot see our face or hear our voice.
fruitbunss last blog post..Are we firmly rooted?
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That is so true! I struggle with this sometimes. My Mom reminds me of the same things you mentioned, especially the part about being an example to younger ones, because I am the oldest of 9! I have alot of responsibility on my shoulders when it comes to setting a good example. (it can be very difficult sometimes!) :)
Bethanys last blog post..Forgotten Hymnody
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As always, you have a wonderful post! Gentleness is so important. I would much rather be around a person with a gentle, quiet, sweet sprit than someone who is loud, boisterous, and harsh. I pray God will bless me with a gentle spirit!
Blessings,
Mara
Maras last blog post..Spears Art Studio
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I know this is an area that I need to work on my self! Its so easy to lash out at someone, they say something hateful and then you respond in kind.
Thanks for bringing this subject to mind again!
God be with you.
Sydney
Sydneys last blog post..2009 is here
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This is just what I have been pondering about for the last few days. I was going to even post about it, but never did. It all came about because I have laryngitis right now, and yesterday I couldn’t talk at all. But you know, even that couldn’t prevent me from “reacting” (rather, I was whispering) harshly when I got upset with one of my siblings. I agree, it’s something I will be working on for a long time….probably for forever. There’s another Proverbs that says the power of life and death are in the tongue…..And to think of how irrationally I use it sometimes! Good post, Jocelyn. Thank-you.
Holly
Hollys last blog post..Pictures with Personality
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Man, did I need this today, haha. Totally convicting. You know, sometimes I find that I tend to do this to the ones I love the most – isn’t that crazy? Sometimes I find myself being reflexively kind and polite to strangers and people outside my home, and then turning around and snapping at my mother ten minutes later! I wonder why that is. Argh. I definitely need to work on this! :)
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This is something I really need to work on. I am way too quick to give a harsh word when a kind one would have done much better. My poor brothers have to deal with more than they should when it comes to that sort of thing.
Thanks for the reminder. I’m going to be thinking and praying on this now and hopefully working to do better.
Much Love,
~Nikki
Nikkis last blog post..New Years Resolutions?
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Hi Jocelyn!
I’m your SSA! :)
Hope your having a great day!
Many blessings,
~*~Courtney~*~
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Oh, what a wonderful reminder to me. I speak harshly too often, and then find that a simple, soft answer could have calmed the whole storm. Thank you, Jocelyn, for this post…mmm…Proverbs 15:1 is a verse I need to be constantly pondering on.
Blessings!
~Missie~
Missies last blog post..Giveaway at "A Pondering Heart"
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Oh, that is so true. I struggle with this so much. Thank you for sharing this. I pray that I can do this. May God give all of us the strength to do this.
God bless,
Zel
Taylors last blog post..Not much going on here…
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That was really good Jocelyn! I have a hard time also keeping a gentle tone of voice.
Blessings,
Hannah
Hannahs last blog post..Preschool Fun!
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I love your influence Miss Jocelyn. I was telling a friend of mine about you today.
Sisterlisas last blog post..Beauty Planner: Cleaning Curly Hair
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Hey girl, and how are ya this fine, snowy Sunday? 8)
Miss Annabees last blog post..Freedom’s Land
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Great post! This is something that each of us will have to work on the rest of our lives. Harsh words are too easily spoken when we are irritated.
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Great post!
Thank you so much for your kind comment on my itty-bitty blog!
Robins last blog post..Oh my! Triplets???
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It IS so important to remember to respond to everyone, especially little kids, with a gentle word. It can be hard, but it’s worth it! :-)
Joys last blog post..PTGW Part Five: Learn to be a Friend
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I have lost potential friendships because of my hasty tongue.
Maria Paulines last blog post..The Glass Wall
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